All for nothing!

Hey,

So it turns out I had it all wrong - Doh! - But also thank goodness!

I’ve really tried to not get caught up in what I can’t control and I’ve tried not to watch daily news, or count covid cases. It’s all so depressing and unnecessary for our mental health to be constantly reminded of the things that are out of our control. So long as I stay up to date and informed on main changes, I’ve had enough of the media coverage & I’m more interested in protecting myself & my family’s mental health.

But, it turns out that the return to school dates set by NSW Department of Education is mainly for the Sydney area of NSW. Regional areas are returning to face-to-face learning as soon as their area is out of lockdown. At this stage we’re scheduled for September 10th for our lock down here in Queanbeyan to finish. I expect it will be extended, but atleast that’s a bit of a difference compared with October 25th! So we’ll wait & see what’s announced next week I guess.

Onto other nice thoughts, today I’m grateful for:

1. The above stated news flash brought to my attention by Mel - Thanks! :)

2. An enjoyable walk yesterday in the glorious sunshine with my 94 yo Nanna who lives alone & needed some compassionate company & exercise

3. Receiving my first pfizer jab - I felt a bit awful in the arvo & had some panadol, but today I thankfully woke with just a sore arm & was able to soldier on with gratitude for science, technology, and our health system getting everyone vaccinated.

Here’s a more realistic portrait from lock down - Morning meditation in my pj’s with cuddles from the boys

Another week bites the dust.....

Whoa. That went fast!

I think we actually got into a bit of a groove last week with home schooling, it was amazing and exhausting! I continued my morning meditations, and we all settled into our new norm, with positive attitudes, lots of enthusiasm towards school work & a real team effort from the whole family. I was grateful for:

• Full night’s sleep (sorry those of you with newborns)

• Beautiful heavy rain I could listen to on our roof & fall asleep to

• A few days to redeem myself from Monday’s efforts while suffering Mondayitis

• Healthy happy chickens roaming free & out of quarantine

• My kids being bright & intelligent (My son is in kindy & it’s the first time I’ve really seen what he gets up to in class - he’s sailing through it so fast I can barely keep up and it makes me so proud!)

• I managed to schedule a few hours for Holly & Sage work, completed a few business tasks which had been accruing and even completed my first ‘zoom meeting’ to design one of my favourite artworks on offer - the Heirloom Album. (This one looks so damn fine!)

• I felt organised, proactive, productive, successful, positive & like life was cruisy…..

THEN FRIDAY HAPPENED.

All that positivity went out the window when I received a phone call with the latest updates regarding the NSW Education Department’s return to school plan. I thought I was totally ahead of the pack realising that school wouldn’t be going back to school till term 4, but then to hear that my son wasn’t going back till October 25th & my daughter 2 weeks later, with only 4 weeks left of term!!! Well, my world collapsed internally. My mind raged & raced, & I fumed with all my internal fury!

It is such a love hate situation being the primary carer of children, for me it is anyway. I LOVE my kids & wouldn’t have it any other way, I LOVE being their primary carer & I think I do a pretty good job. But it’s not all I am, I’m also Holly, a woman, a feminist, a small business owner, a fiance….. the list goes on. Needless to say the feminist & small business owner in me had lots to say on the topic and it took a few days for my mind to quieten down.

Having your own business during such uncertain times is SO HARD. You’re business is your baby. It’s not like going to work for someone else where you clock off at 5pm and maybe think about something later that day regarding work. It’s a 24/7 commitment, a passion, a drive, an identity, a desire, and a life source. Honestly, my work helps put food on the table and every cent counts.

And the feminist in me is appalled at the majority of home schooling landing in the laps of women, mothers, the underpaid, the unrecognised, endless workers who give it everything they have. (OF course I know there’s a few men in this category) but it stinks, and I feel serious frustration that now, I need to reschedule all my upcoming bookings again. Even if lock down restrictions are eased, and most people can return to work, I wont be able to, because I’ll be homeschooling.

I know I’m not alone, and we’re in this together, but damn lock down can feel isolating. So I finish this post with some positive thoughts, things that I’m grateful for:

• Mt. Jerrabomberra being just blocks from my house, so we can enjoy it’s beauty on a daily basis, both as a family & independently AND with friends (our solo exercise buddies)

• Covid has given me QUALITY time with my kids, an insight to their learning, their abilities, their interests outside our home, and the way their little brains tick - I love watching them do their school work when they’re in a zone of concentration and flow - It’s like watching them sleep when they were babies (which I still do ;P )

• We have decided to keep Barry the stray dog, and he’s totally part of the family now as he’s been living with us for 3 weeks (Since the day before lock down began). But we’re also keeping options open in case his owner contacts us and wants him back.

• The connections that grow when you’re restricted to your local area is wonderful. Even though there’s no household intermingling, there’s still the occasional neighbour or friend that lives close by that you run into while exercising and in driveways.

• Amazing technology that allows us to keep in touch with our loved ones through Facetime, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, chat, etc etc.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’re all doing ok - however, the struggle is real & it’s ok if you’re not. Just be sure to reach out to someone you love.

I’ll be back tomorrow! xx

Mondayitis.... it's catching!

Well.. We all suffered from Mondayitis in our household today. We were all resisting, fighting, struggling. I was asked to meditate to get myself in a better mindset, so I gladly went for some time out ( I felt like a child!) but it was good, I needed it. I found it incredibly hard to be grateful though, I kept listing all of the things I needed to do, should do, couldn’t do, wanted to do etc. etc. But after ten minutes I finally had my three items….

1. I’m grateful my partner Scott sent me away to meditate as I was going crazy with frustration

2. I’m grateful my sister & Mum are knowledgeable regarding chickens. They are sharing & caring, helping me to look after my sick chickens (now there’s three of them)

3. I’m grateful my chickens are so pretty and make me happy just watching them run about & preen their feathers. Bird watching is quite tranquil & mesmerising & I never thought of chickens as birds, but it’s true. They’re our new ‘covid’ pets which we’ve almost had for a year now, and they’re wonderful at taking your mind off things.

I’m keeping it brief, because the struggle was real today. Holly x

My favourite little lady ~ Mango Lassi

Peace is a fleeting moment in time

Ha!

I just read back through a few previous post titles….. I certainly felt more at peace last Wednesday, but it’s a gradual process - two steps forward, one step back - slowly I will come to accept this new normal.

Today however was challenging. I don’t usually do a meditation on weekends as I just roll with my family life & enjoy not having schedules & routines (my natural habitat) but I just couldn’t get my head right today. I was scattered & felt all over the place with lots of 'Holly & Sage’ tasks to complete but no direction. Everything felt half started, and nothing finished which is exactly the truth of it. All week it’s been so hard to complete just one task with constant interruptions & demands for my attention from the family.

So guess what I did? Meditate. Made a list. Scheduled my weekend. BAM!

I feel so much better now, I’ve been dancing while making dinner and hopefully I’ve made some families happy with their beautiful portraits I’ve sent through. Here’s a sneak peek, what do you think?

Today I’m grateful for:

1. Someone local generously giving me antibiotics I can pick up and use for my two sick chickens while I wait for an online order for my own antibiotics (Due to covid I can’t cross into the ACT to buy where I normally would)

2. I washed the stray dog now knowns as ‘Barry’ & he’s now clean & fluffy & I’m happier to have him in our household.

3. SO SO SO glad it’s Saturday & there’s no school work to be given, monitored, supported or checked. WHoa! Home schooling is incredibly draining!

Thanks for reading! Holly x

I'm thankful it's Friday!

Hey there,

So I accidentally stayed up till 12am finishing off a great book (something I rarely do) and with both of us home I had a sleep in to make up for it. Woo! I also still managed to sneak in my morning mediation, my gratitude, AND we got the kids started on school by 8.30am. Rocking it!

Another beautiful day of walking kids & dogs, home schooling finished early cause we can! And I even managed to get on my bike this arvo & ride around Mount Jerrabomberra. Fitness is not my forte, so having done this twice in a week is unbelieveable & I feel great for doing it (despite the soreness).

I’m grateful for:

• Creating new habits that allow time for reading books (which I love but rarely do)

• It’s Friday & I got a wonderful sleep in

• Clients that understand the COVID changes within my business & have patience & flexibility regarding my services

I’m planning to knock out quite a bit of work over the weekend as it clearly didn’t happen this week, so stay tuned. And in the meantime, what are you all reading at the moment? I’d love a new book recommendation!

Here’s a cute lil bubba from a recent session, hopefully we’ll all be just as relaxed this weekend! ~ Holly x

Groundhog Day

I didn’t meditate this morning. The kids woke & I ignored them. I slept in. I stayed in my dressing gown after breakfast & read a book while drinking coffee. We didn’t start home schooling at 9am. I wasn’t even showered and dressed till 10am. Some mornings just aren’t meant for moving fast.

Our morning tea break / walk started late, then it went longer than usual (the sunshine was devine) the kids were happy & everything seemed wonderful. We dragged ourselves through half the home school workload of yesterday & as the day went on, it had a snow ball effect, meaning we finished at 4pm - all knackered & grumpy.

I had good intentions, but this is what happens when I don’t meditate, don’t get up to my alarm (or the kids) and don’t stick to our routine & schedule. My approach to the day leads my tribe, but some days I just need to move slower. I don’t feel guilty like I sometimes would, but I do feel frustrated & this afternoon I felt robbed of my precious time, because time just didn’t exist anymore, suddenly I was cooking dinner & groundhog day was about to begin again.

I try to stay positive & try to be present & 100% there for the kids. As I’m sure all parents know, the juggling act is exhausting with so many responsibilities & demands. I have hardly said boo to my business this week and it’s eating me up.

I’ve managed to write a blog post and reschedule clients bookings, but I still have a bit of work to get out. The reality is that I love what I do, and it’s a part of my identity, it’s who I am & what I think & breathe. So when I don’t get time to work on it or in it, the frustration is real.

The most difficult part is I feel a loss of my identity when I am just Mum. Don’t get me wrong, being Mum is the best job in the world, but it’s not my only job or adjective regarding who I am. And slowly that feeling crept back in today, that feeling I had when I had my daughter, my first born. The reality that suddenly this is who you are and there’s no time or ability to be anything else. For me it was a 12 month scramble to find my new identity without letting go of the old Holly.

It’s been 9 years now, and bit by bit I’ve found my way back to being me as well as being a mum, it’s the new Holly - Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. It’s nice to know myself again, but to have that me time filled with other responsibilities rocks my boat a little.

Anyway, I’m sure many of you can relate, so I guess we need to meditate! & be sure to find that time for ourselves. If our cup isn’t full, we can’t give to our loved ones. Be kind to yourselves & I’ll try again tomorrow. Holly xx

View from Bicentennial Park, Queanbeyan ~ Looking out over Jerrabomberra

I'm at peace with it now

Hiya,

This morning I woke with a new energy, a peaceful energy and it made me realise I’d been resisting the changes of the past few days. I’m sure we’ve all felt it, the uncertainty, the unknown, loss of structure, society, social connection as we know it…. but, with acceptance of our new norm, I’m feeling at peace and no longer fighting it. I smiled a lot more today that I have the past 4 days, and what’s not to smile about?

1. I’m grateful I have a roof over my head, a beautiful home, veggie gardens, fresh eggs, happy healthy, smart kids, a loving supportive partner… what more could I ask for? Majority of my needs are being met.

2. I’m grateful for this beautiful life full of opportunities for me to grow & improve & all I have to do is reach out, take it & own it. I will continue to ask the right questions to continue on this path.

3. I’m SO incredibly grateful for my mindful business coach Johl Dunn who’s words of wisdom & support have effected every aspect of my life the past 3 months ~ Thank you!

I’ve had a pleasant day with all this sunshine & fresh air as we take our daily walk. The kids have fallen into a home school routine which we’re all adjusting to but certainly gets more smooth with every day. I hope your days are similar and that you’re finding a rhythm amongst the chaos too.

Holly x

Home Schooling Day 2

Well, today was a bit better than yesterday - slightly more organised & structured. The kids finished school work earlier & I was able to contact all of my wonderful clients I’ve had to reschedule. Thanks SO much for everyone’s understanding during this time. It seriously is a mental & emotional struggle to keep your head above water as a small business during lock down.

On one hand I’m grateful that I don’t have staff to look after, but on the other, I was just about to employ the most amazing woman to share the love of photographing babies with. So fingers crossed the ACT / NSW lock down finishes sooner rather than later so that I can bring her on board & introduce you all to her.

In the meantime, today I was grateful for:

• Another beautiful blue sky day that feels like spring has come early

• A wonderful sleep in while my partner got the kids sorted ready for home schooling

• A slower pace of life which allows time for family & healthy habits such as exercise which is usually the first thing on my list of self care to disappear

Stay safe, Holly x

Home Schooling Day 1

Good Morning Beautiful People,

What a roller coaster of a weekend! I don’t know about you but the media guidelines around this ACT/NSW lock down is pretty confusing. I myself live just over the border of the ACT (where I work) so have had to follow both State’s recommendations which is sometimes in direct contradiction of each other.

On Friday I was effected by the ACT lock down & unable to go to the ACT and work. But becasue I had been in the ACT since August 5th, I was asked to be homebound within the NSW community even though NSW wasn’t in lock down. On Friday NSW caught up and now we’re all in lock down & homeschooling has begun!

In this time of uncertainty, the one thing that is within my own control is my mindset regarding all the changes around me. I will be continuing my morning meditations & daily intentions to help support a healthy & positive mindset. I thought I’d start to share my gratitude & hopefully inspire a few more to join me…..

This morning I’m grateful for:

1. The little stray dog (that arrived on our doorstep last Thursday) behaving like a perfect little gentleman. Especially with my chickens, which some of you may know are more than just egg layers, they’re family pets, each with little names & big personalities & of course AMAZING looks ;P

2. The kid’s school appears to have worked over the weekend to prepare home schooling packs for us to pick up this morning and get us through this first week of lock down

3. SO grateful my partner is home this time as well to help with the home schooling. The biggest challenge I found last time was that my son hasdn’t started school yet, so couldn’t read & had a completely different structure to his day. He’s acing kindergarten this year though & I feel it will be easier to help support them through different lessons even though at different levels.

Of course, I also have a business to run (although slightly less workload) but I will be juggling my roles as best I can as I know you will be too. Patience & understanding is paramount at this time in our lives, but I’m present & grateful that I have such wonderful clients and adorable little babies faces to smile at while I work :) xx

ps. Does anyone recognise this cute little guy? Found last Thursday in the Karabar area ……

Ok, I'm finally here...

Hey there,

So here’s my new blog. Woo!

My goal is to be honest, open & transparent about my thoughts, ideas & experiences. I’ve always thought as myself as an open and sharing kind of person. While I am face to face I really struggle to do so online to an invisible audience. So hopefully you don’t stay invisible: talk to me, comment, send me an email, say hi. Cause it’s a lonely business working for yourself sometimes, and as most of you would know - I’m a people person!

So bring it on! xx