Another week bites the dust.....

Whoa. That went fast!

I think we actually got into a bit of a groove last week with home schooling, it was amazing and exhausting! I continued my morning meditations, and we all settled into our new norm, with positive attitudes, lots of enthusiasm towards school work & a real team effort from the whole family. I was grateful for:

• Full night’s sleep (sorry those of you with newborns)

• Beautiful heavy rain I could listen to on our roof & fall asleep to

• A few days to redeem myself from Monday’s efforts while suffering Mondayitis

• Healthy happy chickens roaming free & out of quarantine

• My kids being bright & intelligent (My son is in kindy & it’s the first time I’ve really seen what he gets up to in class - he’s sailing through it so fast I can barely keep up and it makes me so proud!)

• I managed to schedule a few hours for Holly & Sage work, completed a few business tasks which had been accruing and even completed my first ‘zoom meeting’ to design one of my favourite artworks on offer - the Heirloom Album. (This one looks so damn fine!)

• I felt organised, proactive, productive, successful, positive & like life was cruisy…..

THEN FRIDAY HAPPENED.

All that positivity went out the window when I received a phone call with the latest updates regarding the NSW Education Department’s return to school plan. I thought I was totally ahead of the pack realising that school wouldn’t be going back to school till term 4, but then to hear that my son wasn’t going back till October 25th & my daughter 2 weeks later, with only 4 weeks left of term!!! Well, my world collapsed internally. My mind raged & raced, & I fumed with all my internal fury!

It is such a love hate situation being the primary carer of children, for me it is anyway. I LOVE my kids & wouldn’t have it any other way, I LOVE being their primary carer & I think I do a pretty good job. But it’s not all I am, I’m also Holly, a woman, a feminist, a small business owner, a fiance….. the list goes on. Needless to say the feminist & small business owner in me had lots to say on the topic and it took a few days for my mind to quieten down.

Having your own business during such uncertain times is SO HARD. You’re business is your baby. It’s not like going to work for someone else where you clock off at 5pm and maybe think about something later that day regarding work. It’s a 24/7 commitment, a passion, a drive, an identity, a desire, and a life source. Honestly, my work helps put food on the table and every cent counts.

And the feminist in me is appalled at the majority of home schooling landing in the laps of women, mothers, the underpaid, the unrecognised, endless workers who give it everything they have. (OF course I know there’s a few men in this category) but it stinks, and I feel serious frustration that now, I need to reschedule all my upcoming bookings again. Even if lock down restrictions are eased, and most people can return to work, I wont be able to, because I’ll be homeschooling.

I know I’m not alone, and we’re in this together, but damn lock down can feel isolating. So I finish this post with some positive thoughts, things that I’m grateful for:

• Mt. Jerrabomberra being just blocks from my house, so we can enjoy it’s beauty on a daily basis, both as a family & independently AND with friends (our solo exercise buddies)

• Covid has given me QUALITY time with my kids, an insight to their learning, their abilities, their interests outside our home, and the way their little brains tick - I love watching them do their school work when they’re in a zone of concentration and flow - It’s like watching them sleep when they were babies (which I still do ;P )

• We have decided to keep Barry the stray dog, and he’s totally part of the family now as he’s been living with us for 3 weeks (Since the day before lock down began). But we’re also keeping options open in case his owner contacts us and wants him back.

• The connections that grow when you’re restricted to your local area is wonderful. Even though there’s no household intermingling, there’s still the occasional neighbour or friend that lives close by that you run into while exercising and in driveways.

• Amazing technology that allows us to keep in touch with our loved ones through Facetime, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, chat, etc etc.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’re all doing ok - however, the struggle is real & it’s ok if you’re not. Just be sure to reach out to someone you love.

I’ll be back tomorrow! xx

Mondayitis.... it's catching!

Well.. We all suffered from Mondayitis in our household today. We were all resisting, fighting, struggling. I was asked to meditate to get myself in a better mindset, so I gladly went for some time out ( I felt like a child!) but it was good, I needed it. I found it incredibly hard to be grateful though, I kept listing all of the things I needed to do, should do, couldn’t do, wanted to do etc. etc. But after ten minutes I finally had my three items….

1. I’m grateful my partner Scott sent me away to meditate as I was going crazy with frustration

2. I’m grateful my sister & Mum are knowledgeable regarding chickens. They are sharing & caring, helping me to look after my sick chickens (now there’s three of them)

3. I’m grateful my chickens are so pretty and make me happy just watching them run about & preen their feathers. Bird watching is quite tranquil & mesmerising & I never thought of chickens as birds, but it’s true. They’re our new ‘covid’ pets which we’ve almost had for a year now, and they’re wonderful at taking your mind off things.

I’m keeping it brief, because the struggle was real today. Holly x

My favourite little lady ~ Mango Lassi

I'm thankful it's Friday!

Hey there,

So I accidentally stayed up till 12am finishing off a great book (something I rarely do) and with both of us home I had a sleep in to make up for it. Woo! I also still managed to sneak in my morning mediation, my gratitude, AND we got the kids started on school by 8.30am. Rocking it!

Another beautiful day of walking kids & dogs, home schooling finished early cause we can! And I even managed to get on my bike this arvo & ride around Mount Jerrabomberra. Fitness is not my forte, so having done this twice in a week is unbelieveable & I feel great for doing it (despite the soreness).

I’m grateful for:

• Creating new habits that allow time for reading books (which I love but rarely do)

• It’s Friday & I got a wonderful sleep in

• Clients that understand the COVID changes within my business & have patience & flexibility regarding my services

I’m planning to knock out quite a bit of work over the weekend as it clearly didn’t happen this week, so stay tuned. And in the meantime, what are you all reading at the moment? I’d love a new book recommendation!

Here’s a cute lil bubba from a recent session, hopefully we’ll all be just as relaxed this weekend! ~ Holly x

Groundhog Day

I didn’t meditate this morning. The kids woke & I ignored them. I slept in. I stayed in my dressing gown after breakfast & read a book while drinking coffee. We didn’t start home schooling at 9am. I wasn’t even showered and dressed till 10am. Some mornings just aren’t meant for moving fast.

Our morning tea break / walk started late, then it went longer than usual (the sunshine was devine) the kids were happy & everything seemed wonderful. We dragged ourselves through half the home school workload of yesterday & as the day went on, it had a snow ball effect, meaning we finished at 4pm - all knackered & grumpy.

I had good intentions, but this is what happens when I don’t meditate, don’t get up to my alarm (or the kids) and don’t stick to our routine & schedule. My approach to the day leads my tribe, but some days I just need to move slower. I don’t feel guilty like I sometimes would, but I do feel frustrated & this afternoon I felt robbed of my precious time, because time just didn’t exist anymore, suddenly I was cooking dinner & groundhog day was about to begin again.

I try to stay positive & try to be present & 100% there for the kids. As I’m sure all parents know, the juggling act is exhausting with so many responsibilities & demands. I have hardly said boo to my business this week and it’s eating me up.

I’ve managed to write a blog post and reschedule clients bookings, but I still have a bit of work to get out. The reality is that I love what I do, and it’s a part of my identity, it’s who I am & what I think & breathe. So when I don’t get time to work on it or in it, the frustration is real.

The most difficult part is I feel a loss of my identity when I am just Mum. Don’t get me wrong, being Mum is the best job in the world, but it’s not my only job or adjective regarding who I am. And slowly that feeling crept back in today, that feeling I had when I had my daughter, my first born. The reality that suddenly this is who you are and there’s no time or ability to be anything else. For me it was a 12 month scramble to find my new identity without letting go of the old Holly.

It’s been 9 years now, and bit by bit I’ve found my way back to being me as well as being a mum, it’s the new Holly - Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. It’s nice to know myself again, but to have that me time filled with other responsibilities rocks my boat a little.

Anyway, I’m sure many of you can relate, so I guess we need to meditate! & be sure to find that time for ourselves. If our cup isn’t full, we can’t give to our loved ones. Be kind to yourselves & I’ll try again tomorrow. Holly xx

View from Bicentennial Park, Queanbeyan ~ Looking out over Jerrabomberra