Whoa. That went fast!
I think we actually got into a bit of a groove last week with home schooling, it was amazing and exhausting! I continued my morning meditations, and we all settled into our new norm, with positive attitudes, lots of enthusiasm towards school work & a real team effort from the whole family. I was grateful for:
Full night’s sleep (sorry those of you with newborns)
Beautiful heavy rain I could listen to on our roof & fall asleep to
A few days to redeem myself from Monday’s efforts while suffering Mondayitis
Healthy happy chickens roaming free & out of quarantine
My kids being bright & intelligent (My son is in kindy & it’s the first time I’ve really seen what he gets up to in class - he’s sailing through it so fast I can barely keep up and it makes me so proud!)
I managed to schedule a few hours for Holly & Sage work, completed a few business tasks which had been accruing and even completed my first ‘zoom meeting’ to design one of my favourite artworks on offer - the Heirloom Album. (This one looks so damn fine!)
I felt organised, proactive, productive, successful, positive & like life was cruisy…..
THEN FRIDAY HAPPENED.
All that positivity went out the window when I received a phone call with the latest updates regarding the NSW Education Department’s return to school plan. I thought I was totally ahead of the pack realising that school wouldn’t be going back to school till term 4, but then to hear that my son wasn’t going back till October 25th & my daughter 2 weeks later, with only 4 weeks left of term!!! Well, my world collapsed internally. My mind raged & raced, & I fumed with all my internal fury!
It is such a love hate situation being the primary carer of children, for me it is anyway. I LOVE my kids & wouldn’t have it any other way, I LOVE being their primary carer & I think I do a pretty good job. But it’s not all I am, I’m also Holly, a woman, a feminist, a small business owner, a fiance….. the list goes on. Needless to say the feminist & small business owner in me had lots to say on the topic and it took a few days for my mind to quieten down.
Having your own business during such uncertain times is SO HARD. You’re business is your baby. It’s not like going to work for someone else where you clock off at 5pm and maybe think about something later that day regarding work. It’s a 24/7 commitment, a passion, a drive, an identity, a desire, and a life source. Honestly, my work helps put food on the table and every cent counts.
And the feminist in me is appalled at the majority of home schooling landing in the laps of women, mothers, the underpaid, the unrecognised, endless workers who give it everything they have. (OF course I know there’s a few men in this category) but it stinks, and I feel serious frustration that now, I need to reschedule all my upcoming bookings again. Even if lock down restrictions are eased, and most people can return to work, I wont be able to, because I’ll be homeschooling.
I know I’m not alone, and we’re in this together, but damn lock down can feel isolating. So I finish this post with some positive thoughts, things that I’m grateful for:
Mt. Jerrabomberra being just blocks from my house, so we can enjoy it’s beauty on a daily basis, both as a family & independently AND with friends (our solo exercise buddies)
Covid has given me QUALITY time with my kids, an insight to their learning, their abilities, their interests outside our home, and the way their little brains tick - I love watching them do their school work when they’re in a zone of concentration and flow - It’s like watching them sleep when they were babies (which I still do ;P )
We have decided to keep Barry the stray dog, and he’s totally part of the family now as he’s been living with us for 3 weeks (Since the day before lock down began). But we’re also keeping options open in case his owner contacts us and wants him back.
The connections that grow when you’re restricted to your local area is wonderful. Even though there’s no household intermingling, there’s still the occasional neighbour or friend that lives close by that you run into while exercising and in driveways.
Amazing technology that allows us to keep in touch with our loved ones through Facetime, Zoom, Skype, Messenger, chat, etc etc.
Thanks for reading, I hope you’re all doing ok - however, the struggle is real & it’s ok if you’re not. Just be sure to reach out to someone you love.
I’ll be back tomorrow! xx
